You poor, ignorant fools cannot begin to guess how much I enjoy Saint Patrick's Day each year. While we're on the subject, I'm going to go right out on a limb and admit that the binge drinking has a lot to do with it. Yes, I am a rare breed...I am an honest Irishman. I can actually hear some of the people reading this getting mad about the stereotypical drunk Irishman in his funny Irish t-shirt drinking and singing gaelic all night long. For them, I just want to say: I may be in denial, but I've never met an alcoholic in my life.
There are several other drinking Holidays during the year, but the Irish only get the one to celebrate our heritage and culture. Halloween, New Year's, Labor Day, and the 4th of July are all very fine and good...but where's the green beer? If I throw on one of my funny Irish t-shirts on Halloween, people are just going to think I'm dressed as a leprechaun.
The only thing that really brings me down during Saint Patrick's Day is the division amongst the Irish people. Some of us want to party and have a great time. Others of us want to condemn and excommunicate anyone seen with a beer and a funny Irish t-shirt.
I know that the Bible-thumpers and older folks just want people to respect the Irish people. We should be somewhat more compromising this year, though. The more genteel members of our fine lineage are going to have to come to grips with the fact that the only good they can do on Saint Patrick's Day is giving drunk Irishmen rides home. In turn, the drunk Irishmen will try very hard not to get sick in that kind soul's car.
Now that I've settled the problem of all the Irish infighting, let us get back to the revelries. Let us say the Beer Prayer together, hold hands, and try not to spill whiskey on our funny Irish t-shirts while we steal drinks during the prayers. No one can stop the pride the Irish feel during Saint Patrick's Day. It may be a sodden, drunken festival...but it is OUR sodden, drunken festival. Erin go bragh, my friends!
There are several other drinking Holidays during the year, but the Irish only get the one to celebrate our heritage and culture. Halloween, New Year's, Labor Day, and the 4th of July are all very fine and good...but where's the green beer? If I throw on one of my funny Irish t-shirts on Halloween, people are just going to think I'm dressed as a leprechaun.
The only thing that really brings me down during Saint Patrick's Day is the division amongst the Irish people. Some of us want to party and have a great time. Others of us want to condemn and excommunicate anyone seen with a beer and a funny Irish t-shirt.
I know that the Bible-thumpers and older folks just want people to respect the Irish people. We should be somewhat more compromising this year, though. The more genteel members of our fine lineage are going to have to come to grips with the fact that the only good they can do on Saint Patrick's Day is giving drunk Irishmen rides home. In turn, the drunk Irishmen will try very hard not to get sick in that kind soul's car.
Now that I've settled the problem of all the Irish infighting, let us get back to the revelries. Let us say the Beer Prayer together, hold hands, and try not to spill whiskey on our funny Irish t-shirts while we steal drinks during the prayers. No one can stop the pride the Irish feel during Saint Patrick's Day. It may be a sodden, drunken festival...but it is OUR sodden, drunken festival. Erin go bragh, my friends!
About the Author:
You can find a vast selection of funny drinking Irish t-shirt by visiting our web pages. To shop our online catalog of awesome Irish t-shirts, click the links on our home page today.
No comments:
Post a Comment