What You Need To Understand When Raising Step Children

By Grant Victor Xavier


It is important for all step parents to know that they must proceed with caution in their new role as a step parent in their new family. Many times these children have lost a parent through an accident or a separation of their parents. No matter what the circumstances, raising step children is a situation that takes patience and adaptability.

You need to stress to your new stepchildren that in no way are you going to try to replace their bio parent. If your stepchildren aren't old enough to even consider this issue, then it can be put aside for the moment. Keep in mind also, that your stepchildren will not be impressed if you immediately start to treat them like they were your own kids. It's imperative that your stepchildren understand your role as the spouse of their mother or father and the fact that you must support your new spouse when dealing with the kids when discipline is necessary. However, this doesn't mean that you and your stepchildren can't be friends. You'll have to find the right balance between being a friend and an authority figure in their lives, which can take a little time to figure out.

It often takes a great deal of patience to be a step parent. It takes a while for a stepchild to accept a new parent figure into their life; so don't look for immediate rapport with the child. You have to empathize with the child, as they will most likely miss their bio parent, whether they lost him or her through divorce or death. It's very common for a stepchild to resent the new "intruder" into their life. It's important to continue to patiently advance your efforts to bond with the child, but you have to be careful not to be too aggressive. If you make it clear that you're available to help them out but that you're not trying to replace their original parent, they'll gradually open up to you.

Although most problems in these types of settings are not that bad, one particular problem can cause a great deal of pain and discomfort. The problem is what your new stepchildren will call you. Whether they address you as mom or dad is an issue that can become very tense. Just by saying these words, the implication is that you are trying to replace their mom or dad, which should not be your agenda. After you've been around for a while, especially if the children are young, they may want to call you mom or dad, but let them do this in their own time. The best thing to do is to let them call you by your first name.

As we've seen in this article, there are many aspects to being a step parent, and things don't always go as smoothly as you'd like. It is important that you keep a positive frame of mind realizing that you will have a solid and happy family in the future once the step children have had time to adjust to you. The advice we've shared in this article can be helpful in this regard, and you always have to let the relationship develop in a natural way and not try to rush things.

More and more people are starting to discover that going on getaway can have a great effect on your family associations. When you spend time together enjoying the same things and locations, you actually produce heavy and enduring bonds. Why not start planning your next holiday today?




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